| 93 Cent, BEEEEEEYYYYYAAAAAATTTTCCHHHH!
Abel and I went to the Heartland Brewery on Union Square Friday, and then tragedy struck! But not for us.
Upon being seated at the Brewery, our waitress a disgusting lump of humanity that Abel referred to as "Mrs. Potato Head" asked what we wanted to drink. Being in a perverse mood, we both ordered that most complex of beverages, WATER. Accordingly, it took our quasi-modo waitress about 25 minutes to bring us our water. Upon receiving our beverages, we politely ordered our meals.
Abel, being a flesh eating monster, ordered a Bacon Cheeseburger. Abel Martin is not able to say the word "burger" without first saying Bacon and Cheese. I ordered a hamburger with BBQ sauce which our Lumpkin-headed waitress confused as cheeseburger, then I had to correct her by saying NO CHEESE, being as I'm lactose intolerant and that I spontaneously explode when exposed to cheddar.
After only 45 minutes, our burgers arrived, sans cheese and sans BBQ sauce. When we politely mentioned that Abel and I had ordered CHeese and BBQ sauce to the so-called waitress, she rudely replied that we had ordered NEITHER, and then went to fetch our requests. Of course, somehow our hard of hearing crazy ass mofo waitress heard the word "Mustard" instead of "Barbecue Sauce".
Long story short (cause I'm tired of typing, you hizzo), our waitress the venerable Miss Piggy turned on the charm right before she gave me the check. Appropriately, I tipped her 93 cents (I also left a note at the bottom of the check saying "VERY RUDE"), in order to make my credit card bill look nice. Inappropriately, she chased us onto the street to yell "THANKS A LOT GUYS, THAT'LL PAY THE RENT". That was fulfilling, and if she were to act the hizzo again, I'd do it again too!
93 CENT, BEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYATTTCH! |
